You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
