careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
