Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
