The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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