Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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