worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
