I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
