the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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