Umm I'm too high to move.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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