I bet he comes in French.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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