I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
