If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
