A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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