Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
