Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
