i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
