he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
