she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
