I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
