Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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