There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
