There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
