so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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