dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
