I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
