Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
