Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
