I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
