NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
