Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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