Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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