I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
