did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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