Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
