Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
im on a boat
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