so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
