So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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