i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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