He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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