i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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