why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
