I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
