Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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