Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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