Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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