And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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