Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
