i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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