whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
