WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
